Throwback – Letter To God

the words to say the things I feel
they always seem so weak
my mind goes numb imagining
all the words i want to speak

If i recount the things youve done
how youve touched my life
the way that youve been so exact
in meeting all my needs

i just have to wonder what your planning
and how I fit into your plans
cause honestly i just stumble on and only when I look back can I see your plan
but I know that I can trust you , youve never failed me yet. your so much bigger than every thing thats ever happend

I just have to ask where does this go. I know you already know but its crazy letting you have full control. not that I mind but I always feel a little stupid not knowing why I am doing what I am doing and what the end goal is.

you gotta know I am trusting you big time.
this is bigger than me and I know it.
I cant even see through the next day
but I hit it hard like I know what I am doing
I feel like I am blind but running at full steam.

I know you want everything I am
I dont even knkow what I am
but I give you everything I know to.
I always feel like its not enough.
maybe if I was more sincere, more focused
but i dont even know how to focus more.
I am just trying to live.
just trying to survive

I know that there is more.
but I feel like I can’t reach it
the people that I love sustain me while i try to find the place
the place where I am sure.
the place where I feel safe
the place where I feel like it pays to be good
the place where I feel like resting.

when will I find it
I know its there.. am I too weak to handle it?
would I grow lazy? am I so stupid that I would waste it.
thats what I think
I think that I don’t deserve it.
like i would waste it

I think thats why I am still here
struggling to understand what it is I have to do
to get to the place where I can rest.
where I can think about more than the stupid things
wow what a night..

I need to do this more often,

thanks for hearing me out.

jason

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