Insanity… The Pendulum Swings
// August 6th, 2009 // No Comments » // My Confessions, My Life, My Music
There seems to be an unspoken rule somewhere that if you are a musician then you will buy and sell more gear than you could use in several lifetimes. I
Pro Synthesizers are a beautifull thing
cannot tell you how many times I have sworn not to sell or trade another single piece of gear but along comes something and the gear is gone and other gear takes its place eventually. The sad thing is that you always miss your old gear because you realize how great it was when you had it. But you sold it and it always costs more to buy it again than you sold it for. Over the last few years I accumulated quite a bit of music gear, and I really loved it. I had a bad year… the church that I was helping plant was failing despite our every effort, my autistic son Aidan started getting into my stuff and breaking it… or coming really close to breaking it badly. So I moved all of my gear to the basement thinking I could set up a studio there… I was really happy and spent a lot of time setting everything up just right. Once everything was in place I flipped the switch and started making sweet… loud music in my basement! 5 minutes later there is a knock at the door, the next door neighbor had called the landlord and complained (I live in a duplex) so I was pretty miffed to say the least.. it was the middle of the day on Saturday! There is not much better time to be loud right? Well apparently my neighbor works at night so day time is off limits. I was a little unhappy to say the least… So I tried again later at night when she should be working… again the manager is called… apparently two people live there and one is always sleeping so there is no conceivable time ever that I could play music and really jam it out…
(Now maybe you understand and maybe you don’t but to a musician there is a universe of difference in hearing the music (headphones) and feeling the music (Loud Amplifiers!!!) A musician lives or dies based on how they hear what they are playing. If you can hear and feel what you are playing then there is a synergy of passion and sound and it actually stimulates creativity and your music becomes something very alive and wonderful)
Apparently and unfortunately, my neighbor is intent on denying me even the hope that I can really Jam Out EVER! So I sat in my basement looking at all of my gear… thinking about how often the keyboards had quarters put in them by Aidan, and thinking about all the times someone has told me to turn my music down… even as an adult in my own house! and I got really mad… and really frustrated and really tired of trying to do the thing I love doing and having someone else put limits on me for their personal happiness! what about my personal happiness! So about 6 months ago I sold everything…
At this moment I am regretting that decision as I sit here completely strapped for cash and unable to buy any gear… I know it sounds completely materialistic.. but this is the real me… once you have played on a really good instrument anything else seems just not any fun at all. so grabbing a $100 dollar keyboard is not going to cut it… I have my eye on a used Yamaha Motif XS6 but my “eye” is about the only thing that will get close to it… as tossing $1800 dollars at music gear is at the top of my “things to not do if you want to remain married or alive” list.
Was I insane? YES! I sold perfectly good music equipment because I was frustrated… and as the pendulum swings back and my former insanity is realized… the money is gone… and I sit here just wanting to play a synthesizer like a beastly madman… I am Insanely trying to figure out how many times i need to go to the plasma bank to get that Motif .
Funny thing… one day I can be so focused on spiritual things… the next day I can’t beat my way out of a paper bag… Insanity… The Pendulum Swings…
Tags: Art, Fun, Love, music, musician, My Music, sin, spirit
