- JasonTheBaldGuy

jasonthebaldguy.com

This awesome worm was in the parking lot at work

Enemy,

I feel your hot breath on my neck,
you press down on my shoulders crushing my chest
my breath comes quick and shallow,
I feel your shadow clouding my vision
your fog obscuring my perceptions
you dangle fear in front of me hoping to weaken my resolve
you promise destruction, abandonment, heartbreak
you whisper lies and deceptive thoughts

Enemy,

Your friends are near
they smell the blood of saints ready to be spilled
they come close spoiling for an unfair fight
they hop from one foot to the other
waiting to watch the struggle
they click their tongues… leer… and kick
hoping to incite a reaction…
they savor every ounce of struggle

Enemy,

you’ve made a grave mistake…
you have missed my smile.
your feet may be on my shoulders
but my soul rests in the hand of God
his crushing grip will take you at the last
and it will cradle me like a baby…
Then I will rise in his strength
my sword will cleave the last of you
you will see the rage of the Almighty
as it courses through the veins of his warrior

Enemy,

You might want to think twice next time…

copyright   2010  jason carroll
jasonthebaldguy.com

So … about this song…  My wife was singing it this morning and said… “you need to look up this song online”  so I found it on youtube.com  and It just literally felt like the words had poured from my heart directly… I played it again and I was overwhelmed with the emotion of my present struggles…   I went to work… and going through my email… this song shows up as a free download  on Itickets.com I kinda shook my head… and listened to it again…  so I go on with my workday… for the past few months I have listened to pandora at work… today of all days, I decided to go to Air1.com and would you know the minute it comes on  ”Healing Begins”  starts pouring out of my speakers.   No doubt today I am hearing very clearly that God intends healing… how and when… and who that happens to is something that has yet to be seen… maybe it is you… or me… let me know… is it you?

I remember your first Mothers Day… I spent everything I had to buy you a KitchenAid  Mixer… and you made me take it back because you wanted jewelry… I knew right then and there I bit off more than I could chew by marrying you!   I swore to you there that you would not get one for 5 years I was so ticked off … here we are almost eight years in and it seems the elusive KitchenAid mixer is always just out of reach… I see every time you look at the bright red”Anniversary Editions” with all of their cool features… and I promise myself that it will be the next gift you get!…. but then there is the new house… and all the things to work on there… sometimes it seems so far away… but you are always so patient…

We have a good year ahead of us… debt free… a new home(the first with enough counter space for a Kitchen Aid mixer)… 3 kiddos and we are still going strong… looks like that Kitchen Aid is not so far off after all…

Happy Mothers Day

1John 1:7 says ” But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”

Also Read Ephesians 5

I believe that these passages perfectly describes authenticity… “walking in the light”  If we walk in the light our failures and shortcomings are exposed and we walk “as children of light”  loving the fruits of the spirit… in other words we embrace the exposure of our sins and transgression on one hand accepting our humanity and on the other hand we reach towards the saving grace of God and reject our human nature to be self serving.

Simply living a morally lax lifestyle and doing it publicly is no different from what the rest of the world does… calling it authenticity is a slap in the face to everything that Jesus sacrificed his life for… he did not die so that we could live as we pleased comfortably and flaunt it in the face of the world as “freedom in Christ” … but so that we could see that his sacrifice was in its purest form an example for us to live… or more accurately… die… by.

So in your quest to be… “transparent”… “authentic”…”relevant”… remember to honor the sacrifice that paid for your freedom… and be sure to read Ephesians 5!

so… what do you think?  lets talk about real authenticity!   are you brave enough to expose your life to the light and be set free… can you walk in the light?  lets hear what you got!

If you are in debt up to your eyeballs then get drastic… get rid of credit cars…get a much smaller house… or sell a car… get rid of your “stuff” live more simply… Last Christmas I can’t count how many people were complaining about how they couldn’t afford Christmas gifts… but almost without exception each of them bought a 40″ or larger flat panel TV… sorry but I do not understand the logic there! No wonder you are miserable!

I see so many people walking around complaining about health problems… yet the single solitary thing that they should do they simply ignore…. eating unhealthy, living lives filled with stress… drinking alcohol… popping prescription drugs like candy…smoking…

One simple word…. QUIT! just quit quit quit! I am sorry but it is just that easy… if you are fat because you over eat… quit! your life will be better for it… if your job is stressful figure out a way to do something different! God gave us free will for a reason… we can choose to make a difference in our lives…

and if you think I should practice what I preach… here is what I have done in the last few years..

• I was suffering from anxiety attacks and decided to quit a stressful job and found a new one… and accepted a cut in pay and benefits including a company vehicle to reduce my stress
• I realized that I was very unhealthy and began eating healthier and smaller portions… consequently I lost 60 lbs, and several health problems completely went away!
• I realized that being in debt was making me miserable and frustrated so we decided to rent the cheapest apartment we could find so that we could get out of debt.  and we are only 4000 away from being debt free (waiting on the income tax check)
• I realized many things that I never had time to do was because I was addicted to video games … so I sold my Xbox 360 and now I spend  lots more time with my family
• I realized that my relationship with my wife had become strained so I decided to be more responsible and helpful… things are much more on track now.

The point I am trying to make is that the sum total of your life is affected by the actions  you take on a daily basis… the bible says… “do not be deceived, God is not mocked whatever a man sows that he shall reap” Gal 6:7   if you continue to wallow in self pity you will end up years from now wondering where your friends have gone… and why you feel so abandoned…when the reality is that you abandoned yourself a long time ago…  Take hold of your life and live it to the fullest… Make bold and righteous choices… live radically and do something about your problems… exhaust all options,  find your joy in simplicity and wholesome-ness  step away from the world that you have created for yourself and ask yourself… what are these things adding to my life…if the answer is nothing… well then you know what to do… whatever you decide… stop playing the victim…

This evening I went to the new home we bought to work on some plumbing repairs that I wanted to have done before we moved in… as I finished up, I closed the house and walked outside… It was about 12:00 and would have been pretty dark if not for the huge full moon glowing over the freshly plowed fields behind my house. I stepped out to the driveway… suddenly noticing the noise of the city far in the distance… like an annoying mosquito hovering around one ear. I walked out to the south side of my property… Ironically enough a long driveway runs along the side of my property for access to the fields behind it. I took a few steps as I breathed in the cool night air… gazing at the huge full moon sprinkling silver over the tops of the fields. The sky felt like it wanted to just swallow me up it looked so big… the stars seemed close enough to touch… I ambled along just drinking in the quiet… and suddenly I was talking… to God… and walking… and laughing… and crying… wondering how I could be walking so closely in my father’s footsteps… even being hundreds of miles away… I was filled with amazement that all along I had been thinking I was buying a house with a yard and great trees and all that good stuff… when all I was really doing… was finally buying… my very own… Pipeline.

We started working hard to rebuild our credit… cleaning up things with the credit bureaus is a tough job… but we just stuck to it… paid off a lot of debt… found some debt we didn’t know we had… paid it off too! a year and a half later we realized we really needed to be more aggressive and we rented the cheapest crappiest apartment we could fine…we have been shoved into this thing for over 6 long winter months…

Last week we closed on our first home… a place just outside town, on an acre, single level ranch, with an open floor plan. As we stepped out onto the grass in front of our new home… I stopped… standing right where I prayed 2 years ago… “God… you are awesome… and forever faithful, thank you for saving this home for us… and may we always share it with others so that they can see your provision in their lives also… Amen.

Suddenly… in a little town in Kansas…we were finally Home.

I painted kalleigh’s toenails today